An animated Megatron once spoke these words in reference to the amount of luck the Autobot Leader was going to require…. not in reference to the level of disappointment in a live-action sequel to the 2007 blockbuster.
With deadlines in place to beat a writer’s strike and two possible strikes involving both the directors and actors guilds, this film feels just that, rushed. As compared to the original, the characters (human and robot alike) were hollow and lacked their previous depth (despite Turturro’s very good attempt to carry the film) in part because so many plot points were so suddenly revealed to be loose and required such immediate resolution only to be loosely tied at best. Megan Fox’s character, a weak pin-up/calendar girl (the way Mister Bay sometimes prefers it) in the original, could barely fulfill her duties as cleavage fodder here. Michael Bay had previously stated that the basis of the film was originated on scenes, characters and plot points rejected from the first film… well, great, you just made an entirely rejected film.
The script floats a lot more humor, some of it forced and over the top but the comic relief (both human and robot alike) at least delivers some respite from the daunting and disappointing story. Ehren Kruger was brought on board as a writer to support Orci & Kurtzman based upon his knowledge of the Transformers mythos… however he used none of it to any positive use in the screenplay.
As an installment in the ‘Bay trilogy’ this film did absolutely nothing to progress the drama of the Transformers, serve place setting or even advance the characters. It did however do what most studio dictated sequels will do… make a sh!tload of money while being fairly disappointing.
Epic in length if not story, bring the popcorn but a bathroom break is allowed if you really need it.