Category Archives: Superhero

Films based on… you guessed it, Comic Books. Be it Disney’s Marvel Films powerhouse or the often faltering Warner Bros. DC Comics or an independent… Comic Book movies Rule!

Battle of the Heavyweights

From Yahoo:

Marcus Goh is a Singapore television scriptwriter. He’s also a Transformers enthusiast and avid pop culture scholar. He Tweets/Instagrams at Optimarcus and writes at marcusgohmarcusgoh.com. The views expressed are his own.

The iconic superweapon from Star Wars has to be the Death Star, a moon-sized orbiting space station with a literal death ray attached to it. A single blast is all it takes to destroy a planet, and there exists no greater power in the universe.

Unless we’re talking about a multiverse. Other famous planet-destroying entities include Galactus and Unicron, and if all three were to meet in a battle of cosmic proportions, who would win this Royal Rumble? This debate has raged for eons (well, maybe close to three decades) in geekdom, and has been known to cause ferocious flame wars across the Internet. Let’s take a look at our combatants.

Death Star

We’ll take Death Star II (in Return of the Jedi) as our example here, since it’s larger and newer. It measures 160km in diameter, and carries an entire fleet of starships and firepower. Specifically, it has 15,00 heavy and standard turbolaser batteries along with 7,500 laser cannons and 5,000 ion cannons (as stated by Wookiepedia).

Of course, its planet buster is its most deadly weapon, which was used to destroy Alderaan, described as an Earth-like planet. From this we can conjecture that the Death Star is more than capable of destroying anything the size of Earth, and probably more than that given all its additional firepower.

Unicron

Unicron is an evil god from Transformers, who transforms into a devil planet with actual horns. He eats planets, although not by opening his mouth and chomping down on them. There are no definitive sizes for Unicron, so we have to extrapolate it. Unicorn is about the same size as Cybertron (who is actually a Transformer that’s Unicron’s good twin brother), which in the cartoon is about the same size as the Moon, placing it at a diameter of 3,474 km.

In “Transformers: The Movie” (1986), Unicron’s goal is to eat Cybertron, so we can safely assume that he can destroy something the size of the Moon with ease. He has some trouble handling attacks from the Transformers though, with one of his eyes getting shattered during the fight (and another one after his demise), so we know that smaller foes can hurt him. But since he is a deity, it is possible that such attacks mean nothing to him.

The only thing that Unicron fears is the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, but that can only be opened by the Chosen One, who is in all likelihood the current or next Autobot leader.

Galactus

Galactus is a cosmic entity in the Marvel Universe that has to eat planets for sustenance. He’s generally depicted as 18 to 25 metres in height, which makes him tower over virtually anybody else. But he wields a force known as the Power Cosmic, which effectively allows him to do whatever he wants. Since he wants to devour Earth in his first appearance, we can safely say that he can destroy anything Earth-sized with ease.

His only fear is a weapon called the Ultimate Nullifier, which can eliminate any target it chooses, and has been shown to destroy an entire universe. Hence, the only kind of power that could hurt Galactus would weapons that deal damage on a universal scale.

Fight!

So, size-wise, Unicron wins, hands down, followed by the Death Star and then Galactus. But then, since Galactus has the Power Cosmic, he could use it to become larger than the other two, and trump them in the size department.

In terms of sheer power, Galactus would be able to do the most destruction, followed by the Death Star and then Unicron, going by the size of planets that they have attempted to destroy in the past. In all likelihood though, since Galactus and Unicron are both deities, their damage output would be pretty similar. Unicron might have a little bit more trouble handling the starships that the Death Star would send his way, but Galactus is also smaller than say, a Super Star Destroyer, so that might pose some inconvenience as well.

However, in terms of resilience, the Death Star would be the first to go down, since it doesn’t have any specific weaknesses. It’s as vulnerable to conventional attacks as any other planet, and it also has a nasty habit of hiding its planetary shields on nearby moons or have crippling design flaws that allow a well-placed shot to blow it up. So despite its destructive ability, the Death Star can’t take it as well as it can dish it.

Galactus vs Unicron

So it comes down to the two cosmic deities. Since their power level and toughness would be at the same godlike levels, it comes down to whose specific weaknesses are easier to exploit.

Galactus’ Ultimate Nullifier is pretty easy to get a hold of — nearly everyone in the Marvel Universe has held it at one point — and it’s also easy to use, since hardly anyone has trouble activating it. In fact, Galactus is scared off in his very first appearance when Mr Fantastic wields it against him. Kind of shows how conspicuous the Ultimate Nullifer is, eh?

Unicron’s Autobot Matrix of Leadership is a bit more difficult, since it’s usually contained in the chest cavity of the current Autobot leader, who’s usually a formidable giant transforming robot of war. In addition, only the Chosen One can use it, which means that you need to find and convince a specific person (or Transformer) to use it against Unicron. So when it comes to exploiting weaknesses, Unicron has the more difficult one.

Unicron wins!

So there you have it — an evil transforming robot god trumps a celestial force of nature and an orbital space station with a death ray. I’m all ready to be hunted down and drawn and quartered for having proven that Unicron would win, and having added to this endless debate.

Who do you think would win?

 

~In the grand scheme of things…. I agree.  The Death Star, be it version one or two, is a small moon in the hands of these titans of the stars.  Yes, it could unload the planet buster, but I’m sure Unicron and/or Galactus could easily dodge or misdirect it.

Unicron also has the  ability to re-create and re-format matter at least on a small scall as he recreated Megatron and his troops as well as create their ship.  More-so in the comics, he is a God, where as in the cartoon his origin was never given much attention.  For sheer size and power, I still give Unicron the edge as Galactus has often been beaten by the superheroes of Earth with a variety of weapons and ideas where Unicron, even after his destruction in The Transformers: The Movie continued to function in his ‘escape’ pod of a detached head…. and yes, the Autobots needed the Matrix, a calling card of their deity Primus, to do the deed.~

Batman & Robin is terrible, and here’s why you should watch it immediately

By Kwame Opam of The Verge

Does It Hold Up is a chance to re-experience childhood favorites of books, movies, TV shows, video games, and other cultural phenomenon decades later. Have they gotten better like a fine wine, or are we drinking cork?

BnRDid you know that Batman & Robin is one of the worst movies ever made? That it killed Batman until Christopher Nolan resurrected it? Well, I have a confession to make: I love it. Sincerely. I recognize that I’m rare here — it took Netflix just one month to realize it made a grave error in adding the film to its streaming movies stable. But almost 20 years after it very nearly killed all love for superhero movies at the box office, I enjoy (almost) every minute of it. Not because it’s a good movie. It isn’t. I’m not a crazy person. It’s because it’s fun in a way that some of the best, most memorable comic book movies are, and it’s a reminder of how truly silly this entire genre can be.

Let me be clear, lest you decide to cast me into the pit of fire made for woefully misplaced fandom. Batman & Robin is terrible. It’s the Titanic of superhero films (the actual ship, guys, not the James Cameron movie); the movie was born of pure Hollywood hubris for the sake of selling toys, and watching it is watching a major franchise sunk by bad design and even worse puns. The casting, writing, costuming, and even set design were all so bad as to be utterly incoherent. It demonstrates a piss poor understanding of what makes Batman, well, Batman, and it wrecks what little of the source material it actually gets right. Not to mention, yes, the bat nipples. Sure, most of the film’s stars managed to escape what might have been a career-ending vacuum created by the film, but poor Alicia Silverstone’s star fell the furthest from her Clueless heyday. (Meanwhile, the world may never know what happened to Coolio after his decision to marshall Gotham City’s neon motorcycle races.) It takes a singular piece of dogshit cinema for a director to publicly apologize for it — Sam Raimi recently did so for another classic mess of a modern superhero film, Spider-Man 3 — and director Joel Schumacher is still apologizing to this day. It’s that bad.

Tragic Trio

All this being said, there’s a kind of sick thrill in watching a movie this bad. For me, Batman & Robin rests comfortably in the space where legendary bad films can be adored for how irretrievably awful they are, alongside the likes of Plan 9 from Outer Space and The Room. This is a special class of bad movie — the kind that, with time, lets you laugh at its mistakes like a drunk old friend. It lets you look back and appreciate how far you’ve come, and even wish you could go back and see it all for the first time again. And after a while, even the egregious has its charms.

There’s some actual, honest-to-god good to this movie, trapped under all Ivy versus the Duothat flash and bad acting. For one, Uma Thurman is perfect as Poison Ivy. Not because she does justice to the comics character, because that’s a mixed bag. Rather, in a movie that’s so committed to Schumacher’s over-the-top campy style, she vamps it up flawlessly. She commits, and she even looks like she’s having some real fun in the role, which is a far cry from George Clooney’s bored-and-boring take on Batman. For another — and you have to dig a bit here, so bear with Pamela and Bruceme — there are kernels of a good, well-paced story here. There are heartfelt and genuinely affecting meditations on the nature of family, partnership, and life and death in this film, hinting that, had things not been so mucked up by Warner Bros’ need to make this a family picture, Batman & Robin might have been something else entirely. Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman (who wrote A Beautiful Mind, by the way, so he’s not a total hack despite this god-awful script) even had the good sense to lift Mr. Freeze’s back story from Batman: the Animated Series, which comes close to Greek tragedy in its pathos.

But most importantly, it took this movie for studios to start thinking about what could make a superhero movie actually work. Batman & Robin is a watershed moment because, while it did decently at the box office, it was a failure of legendary proportions among critics and fans. All the industry at large had to do after this cautionary outing was do better — and it did. The evidence is obvious enough in how Marvel and DC now hold the box office in the palm of their hands, but today’s directors, who probably wouldn’t touch his style with a 10-foot pole, are actually just much better at what Schumacher already did.

Promo artworkI’m not talking about what makes a superhero story work regardless of medium. I’m talking about how the movies themselves are presented on the screen. Little by little, comic book movie directors were forced into becoming better filmmakers, and we’ve seen the fruits of that over the past decade, all tinged with lessons learned from Joel Schumacher’s colossal failure. The Dark Knight trilogy is the most obvious because it ran from the previous franchise as fast as it could for the sake of gritty realism, but the Spider-Man franchise reveled in its own camp sensibilities and it worked. Man of Steel didn’t shy away from overwrought action cheesiness and anatomically-correct costumes, and it mostly worked. And while DC and Warner Bros. have allegedly enacted a “No Jokes” policy for their movies going forward (which means no puns in Batman v. Superman), Marvel has been having fun for years, most evident in the recent Guardians of the Galaxy, which was every bit a comedy as it was an action movie.

Rogues gallery artworkWhy does Batman & Robin hold up? Because at this point you could (and should) watch the movie as an unwitting parody of the good superhero movies that came after it. It’s much easier to laugh at what’s wrong when you think about what’s right buried beneath the surface. As comics continue to dominate pop culture, so much of what we love owes this movie for helping studios think of superhero movies as films instead of just toy commercials. And you know what? Sometimes bad jokes are still funny. With all this in mind, it’s a shame that its run on Netflix was so brief. Oh well. We can only hope it’s not gone forever.

I was going to suggest renting it online, but… I’m not a monster. Wait for it to play on TNT or something.


Hmmm.  This is a tough one.

On one hand, this film was terrible in the scheme of the Bat-Universe and the nail in the coffin for the original Bat-series created by Tim Burton while also bringing about the spiral of Joel Schumacher’s career, which before taking the helm of the two Bat-sequels for Warner Bros., was doing quite well. To his credit while he burns in Bat-Hell, the regime at Warner’s demanded a light family fare in response to Burton’s previous efforts… in effect a living comic book.  It probably would have been easier for them to reboot under an Adam West like guise or seriously consider more cinematic animated tales than continue with the original Keaton/Burton story-line in Batman Forever and Batman & Robin.

Batman and RobinOn the other hand,  this film also opened the door for Marvel to slowly take over the comic book cinematic universe.  Blade brought us some grit for a Marvel Knights tale, X-Men took us closer to mainstream and finally the aforementioned Spider-Man blew the doors off.

This film also forced Warner Bros. to look for a non tent-pole director to helm a reboot for the Bat-Universe and gave us Christopher Nolan, who demanded non-interference from the Warner’s regime and gave us an actual/factual comic book Batman in return.

If only Bryan Singer thought of that for Superman Returns.

Is Batman & Robin watchable in the grand scheme of things?  Sure, just don’t go in with any expectations.  It is what is, an Adam West-esque Bat-tale that will kill some time.

The Art of the Deal… Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Ghost Rider SOV TeaserAnd while the original ‘Ghost Rider’ focused on just that, Ghost Rider, this one focused on the ‘deal’ to be Ghost Rider. Now, up-front, I’ll admit I’m a comic book guy and film buff and this film is not ‘The Dark Knight’, ‘Iron Man’ or even ‘Thor’. However, it isn’t Dolph Lundgren’s version of the Punisher or, luckily, the original ‘Ghost Rider’. (FYI: I saw this film for free at a special engagement Preview.. otherwise, I probably would not have seen it till the DVD or pay cable release.)

‘Spirit of Vengeance’ is a bit more of a reboot than a sequel, and in my estimation better than the original from a comic book standpoint. As a Hollywood flick, it’s simply the same sh!t, different film. The story is recycled from a number of genres, the acting is nothing the Academy need worry about (Nick Cage’s performance was on par for… well, any Cage performance), and some of the action sequences are a bit too herky-jerky for the 3-D, but it isn’t a total loss. The comic lore is advanced a bit (depending on which version of Johnny Blaze / Danny Ketch you want to follow) and even drops hints for returning characters in a possible sequel. Idris Elba does give a fair performance for an underwritten yet prominent character and Christopher Lambert cameos are always fun.
Spirit of Vengeance‘Marvel Knights’ is the mature comic line for Marvel characters and at some point Disney will hand their more adult characters to film makers who understand the difference between making a 90 minute crash’em-up and a story with action. While Punisher: War Zone was almost a step up for ‘Marvel Knights’, this one is a step back. Luckily, it’s only a 90 minute crash’em-up flick and you’ll be on your way to lead a normal, happy life. Bathroom breaks allowed but you probably won’t need it.

2 Stars

Jim Gordon Isn’t The Hero Gotham Needs, Just The Idiot It Deserves (Ouch!)

Gotham promo posterOkay, first, that’s not my headline but it is an awesome use of Gordon’s own line from The Dark Knight. Second, yes, Gotham is getting slightly worse but no worse than it started to get just before the Holiday break.

Sure, the show is called Gotham and takes place in the DC Comics fictional city of the same name that serves as the home base to The Batman: The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, The World’s Greatest Detective, you get the idea… But aha! The show opens with the single most defining moment in DC Comics history… the murders of Thomas and Martha Wayne.  So we have our starting point, the “birth” of The Batman or at the very least, the creation of the sense of justice and vengeance that would inspire a young Bruce Wayne to later assume the mantle of The Bat.

Starting point… not story.  And that is where Gotham has failed.

The story that should have spawned from that event was not the grooming of Bruce Wayne towards his ultimate fate but the grooming of James Gordon, golden boy detective, towards his.  Under this thought process, Bruce Wayne is an afterthought, a peripheral character who has other things to do than be continuously portrayed as a whiney-bitch Luke Skywalker type… looking off into the future and crying cause shit isn’t right. His parents were just murdered, I’ll just accept that he’s off sulking somewhere, tears in his eyes, wanting vengeance. Gordon is and should be more solidly portrayed as the main character.  Being the lead detective for the Wayne Murder Case will eternally link him to Bruce and the main theme of the show… the ground work for The Batman.  But the ground work is lain, Gordon is the lead detective in a case that was cold before the bodies were buried and Bruce Wayne will be Batmandone!

The Bat-Man

What should we be doing?  Seeing why Jim Gordon is Jim Gordon.  Commissioner Gordon wasn’t created by the circumstances of the GCPD, he was born to deal with those circumstances.  Yes, he is the ‘one good cop’ in a city of bad ones.  Yes, he does take it upon himself to set the tone for what Gotham’s Police Department should be. That’s always been his burden.  It’s why Batman aligns himself with the then Lieutenant, Captain and later Commissioner.

Do we need to see ALL of the Batman villains big and small making appearances?  No.  In some cases, it makes less sense to the origins as a lot of these people will end up being 15 years older than the Batman once he arrives on the scene (see: Harvey Dent). Can we see drips and drabs of these villains, absolutely.  This show could be filled with more Easter Eggs than the annual Egg hunt on the White House lawn… and that’s where the fun lies.

Bruce Wayne and his faithful protector (as well as best character on the whole damn show to this point), Alfred, could make appearances several times a season, not every episode.  Perhaps a two-parter each season could take place in flash-back, opening with The Batman and Commissioner Gordon going over a case that has roots in Gordon’s early days just to satisfy the unquenchable need for a “Batman” story in Gotham. The Penguin and the mafia serve as great Gordon fodder at this point, the ongoing war he fights in the background of everyday crimes until help arrives in the form of a Bat and then the war escalates in response.

Batman will always be Gotham City’s greatest hero, but Gotham is about its greatest unsung warrior.


From Rob Bricken @ io9:

Gotham is getting worse. I don’t mean the city; even though it has increased its Noble Cop quotient by +1 with Jim Gordon’s arrival, it seems to be just as messed up as it was before he arrived. No, I mean the show, and the most obvious example is the way Gordon is somehow turning dumber every episode.

Since the premiere, Jim Gordon has been a good person and a good cop. By trying to do what was right he was nearly murdered a few times, ordered to murder other people, and even busted down to insane asylum security officer for an afternoon. When he came back last episode, he appeared to have lost some of his nobility — he was more willing to bend the rules on behalf of the greater good. I thought the show might be showing us The Early Temptation of Gordon, in which he would realize if he had any desire of fixing Gotham City, he’d have to hold himself to the same standard.

Then comes along last night’s episode, “Welcome Back, Jim Gordon,” in which it’s revealed that Gordon may just be a moron. When a witness gets murdered right inside the precinct — stabbed in the back with an ice pick — of course Gordon is the only cop in the entire city the size of New York that feels like this needs to be investigated. Of course the chief and Bullock tell him to stop, and of course he doesn’t (and Bullock helps him anyways). And also of course, Gordon is stymied by the bafflingly huge amount of corruption in the GCPD, which not only allows its narcotics cops to operate their own drug warehouses but has an elaborate system in place designed to keep Gordon from busting them.

There are only two things that set this Gordon plot apart from Gotham‘s other episodes. 1) Gordon busts a cop named Delaware for being on guard duty when the witness was murdered (when do narcotics detectives have to watch the interrogation rooms?) and for having drugs in his car; the hilariously, obviously corrupt narc Flass says he was only staging an undercover operation. It’s a lie, but it could technically be true, and it points out how little circumstantial evidence “detective” Gordon busted Delaware on. 2) When Gordon can’t get anywhere, he calls up his old buddy the Penguin to see if he can find anything on Flass, seeing as Maroni runs the drug trade and Penguin and Maroni are tight. One of Penguin’s goons basically tortures Delaware’s wife until he offers a confession and shows them the ice pick Flass used to stab the witness with.

Is it part of Gordon’s fall from grace that he makes a deal with the devil to catch a crooked cop, or is it just stupidity? I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. But Gordon’s naïve belief that somehow engaging criminals to do his job for him would have no negative consequences — even though he very specifically asked Penguin not to hurt anybody — is absolute imbecility. At the end of the episode, Delaware crawls up to Gordon and begs him not to have thugs hurt his family anymore, and you can practically hear the sad trombone noise as it dawns on Gordon that hey, maybe criminals can’t be trusted.

*Maybe it’s desperation. Gordon, seeing that he’s a man alone on an island, needs to take more drastic measures (just as Bullock did using Fish) and those measures are what ultimately leads Gordon back along the path to solidify the thought that only he can be the one to change things… he and those trusted allies he has yet to find.*

Luckily, the mob side of the equation picks up this week, although maybe it picks up too fast. Fish Mooney is tortured briefly by one of Falcone’s guys, and it’s the right sort of ridiculous. Fish’s hyper-nonchalance at being suffocated is absurd, but it works for her absurd character, and it’s a fun scene to watch Jada Pinkett Smith chew. Meanwhile, her second-in-command escapes from his captors, finds Fish, frees her, and they prepare to leave Gotham — after, of course, Fish pays Penguin a visit.

The Penguin has taken his mom to “his” new nightclub. His mom gets wasted and embarrasses him, Gordon stops by to ask for his favor, and at the end of the night, Cobblepot gets super-drunk and Gotham turns into a mini-Fear and Loathing in Gotham montage for no fucking reason. It’s not cool, it’s not good, it’s not even bad, it’s just… weird? Senseless? Inexplicable? Anyways, it’s at the tail end of this when Fish shows up, and we get a confrontation I was surprised to realize how much I’d been looking forward to. The Penguin starts by obsequiously kissing her feet, and begging to be spared. When this doesn’t work, and Fish starts berating him for being a mere umbrella holder, Oswald finally snaps. “This umbrella holder outwitted you every step of the way!” he shouts, and even Fish is stunned by how true it is. This is Gotham at its most effective, and the scene makes the episode. Then Zsasz and his gun molls pop in and chase Fish and her goon away. Butch sacrifices himself so Fish can escape, and I’m pretty sure we’re still supposed to care about his character for some reason; instead, I’m only excited to see what Zsasz does with him, since he takes him prisoner instead of killing him.

Gotham rogues gallery

In other news: Barbara isn’t in this episode — I assume she’s watching QVC on a couch somewhere, because she can’t find the remote and is too lazy to go look for it — but Bruce Wayne is back! He’s taken to forcing Alfred to drive around the poor parts of Gotham looking for Cat so he can give her a gift he bought her in Switzerland! He passes a message to her through Ivy, and she stops by Stately Wayne Manor to discover… it’s a big honking snow globe! (I assume Bruce purchased it at the Gifts That Are Supposed To Seem Really Thoughtful In TV Shows And Movies When The Writers Can’t Be Bothered To Think Of A Genuinely Thoughtful Gift store. It is literally stocked with nothing but snowglobes.) Cat loves it, but then she flips and is mean to Bruce and tells him they’re not friends and leaves and Bruce cries for a while until Alfred comes in and literally makes fun of him for crying. Your young Batman, everyone!

*Again… a periphery character at best. Same with Catwoman and Poison Ivy*

I mentioned this yesterday when I reported that Gotham had turned the Dollmaker’s real name into “Dr. Francis Dalmacher”, but there’s a fine line between fun and silly and campy and just stupid, and Gotham crosses it way too often. Maybe the most egregious example is when the GCPD Internal Affairs department rules the witness’ death — remember, he was stabbed in the back multiples times with a giant ice pick — a suicide. I know the GCPD is supposed to be corrupt, but that’s a disbelief-shattering level of absurdity that is too astonishing to comprehend, even in a show about a kid who eventually starts dressing as a bat and fighting crime. I mean, that’s as dumb as anything found in the reviled Batman & Robin movie (with the possible exception of the Bat-credit card). If the GCPD is so corrupt as to be completely unaccountable to the laws of reality, what the fuck is Gordon supposed to do? What the hell could Batman do here, other than just shut the police force down entirely?

*Or perhaps its just to show how disgustingly blatant the GCPD is in being crooked?  They’re the cops, who will you turn to when the people you’re supposed to turn to in need turn against you? I think the total absurdity of the idea this man’s murder is deemed a suicide is more a middle-finger to society in Gotham than just a writing flaw.*

And when the Gordon story falls apart, all that’s left to Gotham is watching the origins of all these beloved Batman characters. Unfortunately, with the exception of the Penguin, Gotham still has no idea how to make those stories interesting either: The Riddler isn’t doing anything but harassing a female co-worker, Catwoman only shows up when Bruce Wayne is on-screen, Poison Ivy isn’t even carrying a goddamn plant anymore, and the upcoming Dollmaker is apparently named Dalmacher because the show isn’t even trying to make its future Bat-villains compelling anymore.

*Too much going on and too much trying to please the vast Bat-Universe.*

The irony here is that it would be so easy for Gotham to be fascinating. Seeing young Bruce actually start on his path to becoming Batman would be awesome, as would watching Selina on her first heists. Giving the Riddler any kind of characteristic other than spouting riddles and being creepily obsessed with a co-worker would be great — anything that would hint at why he’ll eventually become the Riddler. Having Harvey Dent… uh… show up again to do anything, that would be nice. Look, you’re doing it right with the Penguin! You clearly have the ability! And then Gotham could finally start living up to the massive amount of potential everybody keeps saying it has.

Assorted Musings:

• As it turns out, Alfred hates children, poor people and very possibly women. His utter disdain when Gotham Alfredhe catches Bruce crying over Cat is insane. It’s like Frank Miller guest-wrote it.

*Again, the best character to this point in the show, fantastically portrayed by the Third Doctor’s son.*

• I also liked how Oswald seems to genuinely regard Gordon as a friend. It’s a strange relationship, but seeing that Gordon is the main character and the Penguin is the most interesting character, I feel like they ought to be sharing way more scenes.

*They should indeed as Gordon saved Oswald’s life, just for him to rise to power against him.*

• Zsasz’s refusal to run after his targets has a very Pepe le Pew.esque quality to it.

• Um, Bruce was seemingly pretty well-adjusted until Cat told him off and Alfred mocked his pain. I feel like Gotham may be retconning Bruce’s origin so that his parents’ murder doesn’t drive him to become Batman, a girl telling him she doesn’t like him does. It certainly seems to be what’s happening to Riddler.

*Periphery…. at best.*

Assorted Stupidity:

Sorry, there were a couple of other things in this episode that bugged me so much I had to list them even though I didn’t put them in the recap proper.

• When the witness is murdered, Gordon assumes a cop is involved (someone had to turn off the camera in the room and so forth) but the Chief warns him that he just got reinstated. If he “even hints” that a cop may be involved, his co-workers will revolt and he could get busted back to Arkham. So Gordon’s first act? Start accusing and interrogating cops randomly. Sigh.

*Sigh nothing… he won’t take directives to cover the corruption that is so blatant.  It’s why Jim Gordon becomes Commissioner James Gordon.*

• When Zsasz and his molls are in a shoot-out with Butch, Butch drops one of the girls. Zsasz and the other two stop shooting simultaneously, and look down at the girl’s dead body as if they’re all shocked that someone could possibly die in a gunfight. Also, Butch for some reason doesn’t shoot at them at while they have their time-out. It’s dumb.

• At the end of the episode, Gordon starts to arrest Flass, and of course all the other cops — who, it should be remembered, unanimously abandoned Gordon to get murdered when Zsasz popped by the police station a few weeks ago — of course don’t even move. So Gordon gives a big inspirational speech about how hey, maybe if you guys are corrupt assholes letting people get murdered in your own fucking building is a step too far, and the Chief actually steps up and arrests Flass.

• Do you realize how stupid this is? This is the chief. Sarah Essen is in charge of the police. All the police. She can effect change, so, if she’s no longer on board the helplessly corrupt train, she can actually clean up the GCPD faster and better than Gordon ever could. This obviously can’t happen, so the show is going to have to backtrack from this moment pretty much immediately.

*It will backtrack. Gordon will be guilt ridden over his request of the Penguin for help, reveal that the evidence against Flass was illegally obtained, spring Flass and everyone will chalk it up to just another corrupt cop walking free on the GCPD, giving Gordon the desire to make amends.*

• What’s even more annoying about the scene is how Gordon literally has to give a 5-minute Friday Night Lights speech in order to arrest a cop who literally confesses to murder in front of dozens of witnesses who are police officers. Gotham wans to portray this as some kind of heroic moment for Essen, where she finally steps up and does the right thing when it is almost the bare minimum of what she should be doing as a police officer. Gordon should be infuriated that she had to think about it before acting, not moved. Grr.

*Gordon is changing the mindset of a department so corrupt it allows murder in its own police houses… in a city so dark, dank and corrupt it requires a man to don a cape & cowl and dedicate his life to the cleaning up of those City streets and return it to a civilized world.  Duh!*


With that out of the way, I have often said that people who don’t understand comics shouldn’t be too judgmental of them in other mediums.  75 years of cannon is hard to squish together over an entire series, never mind a season of television, but many simply expect it.

“The Avengers Will Assemble!”

Thor teaserAnd no matter what anyone tells you, that is the cold hard fact of this film. As the second to last place setting for next summer’s ‘Avengers’ superhero team-up flick, ‘Thor’ does nicely.

Much in the style of ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’ (Damn, I hate that sub-title), the story touches greatly upon the mythos of the title character (obviously more deeply based in Norse mythology) and updates it accordingly. Luckily in this case, for all the simplicity in the story development and character set-up, Kenneth Branagh was at the helm and worked the proper amount of development into both the story and the primary characters.

The script, obviously having a major mythic back-story to draw from, mixing it with the established comic lore and then adding the S.H.I.E.L.D. element and place setting actually moves fairly well. Yes, there are a few slower parts, but this is Norse mythology directed by Kenneth Branagh and it ain’t all gonna’ be on rocket propelled roller-skates. However, this is a Marvel comic book film directed by Kenneth Branagh and you can’t really go wrong.
Donald Blake and his girlWith cast members such as Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman you expect a good turn and you certainly get it. A few of the characters are a bit cardboard but the actors do well to keep them believable. Chris Hemsworth fits quite well behind the hammer, playing both sides of the egotistical God of Thunder as well as anyone could play an egotistical God of Thunder. If there was one complaint, much like a Skywalker turned Vader in Episode III, the turn from one side to the other as Thor makes his heroic choice was a bit rushed. Obviously, the clock was ticking and the story needed to move into Act III, but…
Father and SonsAs a place setting for the forthcoming ‘Avengers’ (and if you saw the post end credits teaser scene, a great unknown lead in for Captain America) this film performs and does so far better than Iron Man 2 (whose exit teaser was a place setting for this film). As a stand alone film about Marvel’s Thunder God, it exceeds expectations.

Not quite Comic Book epic, but definitely taking you for the ride. Bring popcorn and no bathroom breaks.

4 Stars

Avengers… ASSEMBLE! Marvel’s The Avengers (2012)

Avengers European posterFifty years ago, that simple phrase ushered in a vision of comic book excitement and sheer imagination. And let there be no doubt, this film lives up to The Avengers storied past.

With a brisk pace, compelling character plot and backed by a motivating Alan Silvestri score, The Avengers is an excellent ‘movie’. It meets the requirements of a Saturday matinée popcorn flick, an action movie and a damned epic comic book film. The dialogue stays fresh while mixing comic relief, drama and Steve Rogers’ archaic sense of civility. Joss Whedon and his staff did a fantastic job of sharing the ‘heavy lifting’ between characters while remaining true to Stan Lee’s original visions.
Loki DemandsMarvel’s answer to DC’s Justice League of America, The Avengers took several of the comic line’s mid-level characters and created Marvel’s first true “Super-Team”. With the Silver-Age revival of Captain America in issue number 4, the Avengers never looked back. This film, the culmination of plot bits and end of credit scenes from Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America (I still don’t get why people left during the credits… ) we finally get the epic telling of Marvel’s most elite team. Sure, many in the comic world will debate who really comprises the best incarnation of Avengers (as they will X-Men), but this assemblage of heroes is it. It harkens back to the Silver Age while keeping a purely modern feel (which propelled Iron Man from background character to comic media sensation in his debut film) for the characters, the story and the idea that such fantasy could indeed seem so real.
Assembly RequiredBelieve me, this is the film that will dictate the future of the comic book film industry… and it is the film that has to make Warner Bros./DC stand-up and take note. Easily the second greatest comic book film of all time, Avengers mixes its comic lore against The Dark Knight’s gritty realism. Marvel, who for years plodded in a non media landscape and survived bankruptcy to give us the Blade Trilogy, Spider-Man, Iron Man only to score the slaughter in 2011 (perhaps thanks to their purchase by Disney) with such summer blockbusters as X-Men: First Class, Thor and Captain America have reached a definite new level of epic storytelling with The Avengers.

The TrioAnd let’s not forget, we still have Iron Man 3, a Captain America sequel and a Thor sequel before we get to the next installment of The Avengers and their previewed antagonist, Thanos (who makes a showing in the surprise hit Guardians of the Galaxy to delay his Infinity Gauntlet appearance, aka Avengers 3 & 4).
ShwarmaReaching comic book epic, grab the popcorn and snow-caps and absolutely no bathroom breaks. And yes, you’ll be seeing it at least twice in the theatres.

5 Stars

Another Iron Man Movie… Iron Man 3 (2013)

Iron Man 3 teaserTo me, this film seemed to have even less to do with the original Iron Man (and the best film of the ‘trilogy’) than Iron Man 2 which barely achieved place mat status. It certainly didn’t do anything to advance the saga of Tony Stark nor did it add a sense of closure or continuity to the recent Avengers storyline. It did however do much more in destroying Pepper Potts as a credible character.

As most Shane Black movies go, it involved Christmas… no wait, that’s not fair. It involved things that get shot and blow-up at Christmas. Making a useless involvement of AIM, the Hydra-esque secret agency which could have been easily folded into the ongoing Marvel film or Television universe, the plot just sank. If the point of the movie was that Stark can survive through his wits, sarcasm and ingenuity, well we established that in the first movie, it’s why he’s Iron Man. Since there are no plans to extend Iron Man into Phase Two or Phase Three in his own solo adventure, let’s hope his involvement in the expanding Avengers universe fares far better than this.
Kingsley MandarinDefinitely a wasted effort for the reliable Downey Jr. in follow-up to the masterful first Avengers film but a total fail for the awesome effort of Sir Ben Kingsley who stole a portion of the film (I can only hope he will return to the Marvel Universe in a future film).

Bring popcorn but a break is allowed.

3 Stars